It can hit any of us. But I tend to be one of those “lucky” people who are prone to getting seasick almost anytime I get on a boat, kayak, or even scuba diving. True, there are moments when I’m praying to die, but the experiences I get doing some of these activities are still worth it. But I already know I’m a special sort of crazy.
On my first-ever sailing trip in the middle of the Atlantic, I discovered the different stages of being seasick and the thoughts that run through your head. This is meant to be humorous and will probably only be funny to those who have lived through all 7 stages. Enjoy?
Thoughts during the 7 Stages of Seasickness:
Stage 1: Pre-trip Confidence
- I’ve got this! I’ve been taking seasickness pills two days in advance. I’m so good to go!
Stage 2: Initial Inklings and Denial
- Why am I so tired?
- Wait…why am I feeling dizzy and have a headache?
- Just focus on the horizon…it’s all mind over matter.
- Just breathe and act like nothing is wrong.
Stage 3: More than Inklings
- Is it insanely hot for anyone else? Why am I sweating like a pig? Wow! I never knew I could sweat this much!
- Just act natural you can still mind over matter this issue. You’re not sick. You’re not sick…
- Oh man my stomach feels weird.
- Umm…maybe I should just keep a barf bag within sight and take a mental note of which side of the boat is downwind.
Stage 4: Things just got Real
- Well, there went my lunch.
- Do I get points for distance?
- Just try to aim and don’t fall out of the boat.
- Is that my kidney?
Stage 5: The Prayer to Die
- I think I want to die
- Why in the world did I decide to go sailing? I seriously must be mental!
- I definitely want to DIE.
- How on earth do I still have fluids that keep coming up?
- Please, OH PLEASE, just let me just die.
- I gotta get off this boat.
- Why is NOTHING still?
- There goes the other kidney…
Stage 6: Acceptance
- Just embrace it…this is your existence now.
- Just DON’T MOVE!
- Or open your eyes.
- Or eat.
- Or drink.
- ANYTHING. EVER. AGAIN.
Stage 7: Sweet Relief (Days later)
- Wait, I think I feel better…Did I die?
- What is rotting in my mouth?
- Oh my GOSH, I’m STARVING!
- Oh look we’re sailing, and it’s amazing!!! I’m so glad I’m here!
For those of you who are curious, I did go sailing again, six months later. It was kind of a “get back on that horse” type of thing, but at the same time I also really enjoyed the sailing when I wasn’t sick.
My Faroe Islands Sailing adventure was less intense and went a lot smoother. I finally found some seasickness medication and the magic of ginger candy that made a huge difference. So there will continue to be many more sailing adventures and hopefully less seasick episodes.